Ugly Revised and edited
by Wildcard-JT
Summary: gone over with a fine tooth comb...at least until screws with my formating! Spng fic, Outside by Staind


Ugly

Song/Fan Fiction from Wildcard Studios by The Wildcard

Disclaimer: "Welcome to the Disclaimer! That's right, the Disclaimer! This lowly

worm of a fan fiction writer will cleanse any sense of plagiarism from is text

and will also insult your intelligence at the same time! Warning! This fan

fiction contains explicit depictions of things witch are not owned by the

writer! These things are commonly owned by Anno (god bless that man!) and a

musician named Aaron Lewis (or so we hope!). Now, let's get it on!

A.N.: This is set in Episode 9, in Shinji's direct P.O.V.

-Ugly-

"So, she's living with us," I was thinking to myself, "She's been living here

for three days already, well its not like I had it great before but, damn, one

female is bad enough, let alone… her". It was comforting to retreat into my

thoughts, even if just for a little while, but they were distracting me from the

sync exercise I was doing.

"Shiest," Asuka cursed, "So much for synchronization, I could never

sink down to the pathetic level this animated turnip lives at!"

"Animated turnip?" I inwardly winced, keeping my thoughts to myself,

"For Christ's sake, I'm a musician, I play the cello, its not my fault that all

my rhythm is in my hands"

"If you ask me," she continued, "The whole idea's impossible."

Misato regarded her with an almost evil look about her, "Then

you're giving up?" she asked.

"

But you don't have anyone else, do you"

"Rei, why don't you try?" Misato ordered with a mischievous grin.

"Yes ma'am"

"Great," I groaned under my breath, "If she pulls this off…well, I'm

not picking up the pieces."

But amazingly enough, Rei did do it, even at my slow, erratic pace.

"Well, looks like I should alter the operation to pair Shinji and

Rei."

"Oh, that's nice…great tactic Misato, poor Rei's a goner" I thought.

I looked up, expecting to hear an unholy barrage of insults and

obsanities directed towards Rei, Misato, perhaps even myself.

But instead, she cried, "No,

no I can't stand this, I can't take it anymore!" and fled the apartment…so much

for not picking up the pieces.

"_And you bring me to my knees, again. All this time I could beg you please, in _

_vain._

_All those times that I felt insecure for you. And I'll leave my burdens at the _

_door."_

"_I'm on the outside, I'm looking in._

_I can see through you, see your true colors. _

'_Cause inside you're ugly, you're ugly like me._

_I can see through you, see to the real you."_

-Days later, the night before the operation.-

"Where's Misato?"

"At work," I answered, "She called earlier, she'll be there all

night"

"So," she replied, "That means we'll be all alone tonight, huh?

"Huh?" Great, what is she up to now? And she calls ME a pervert.

But, to my surprise she picked up her futon and moved it into the

other room. "This is the impenetrable wall of Jericho, third child," she growled

menacingly, "Take one step over this wall and you'll be a dead man"

"Whatever" I thought to myself, shrugging my shoulders, "Its bad

enough that she's going against orders, but she doesn't have to get biblical on

me." I turned over and tried to sleep, key word, tried.

"Why do Japanese sleep on the floor, this is so stupid."

During the course of my sleepless night, I was fumbling with my SDAT

player, listening to some crappy J-pop tape Misato let me borrow. Hearing

Asuka's door open I quickly pretended to be asleep, to avoid conversation. Her

footsteps came closer and I thought a confrontation was inevitable, but she

plopped down beside me.

Opening my eyes, I saw nothing but breasts. Heh, aint this snazzy?

But of course, I'm a guy…and I'm ashamed to admit, but I gave in to

temptation.

"_All this time, that I felt like this wont end, it's for you. And I'll taste _

_what I can never have, it's for you. All the times that I tried, my intentions _

_full of pride._

_But I'll waste more time than anyone"_

I edged closer, trying desperately to steal a kiss without waking

the beautiful devil. But, as I closed in closer she began to stir. Wa- was she

trying to say something? Were those tears in her eyes?

"Momma."

Momma, huh, so you're just a child yourself.

"_But I'm on the outside, I'm looking in._

_I can see through you, see your true colors._

'_Cause inside you're ugly, you're ugly like me._

_I can see through you, see to the real you._

Turning over, I realized that I couldn't sleep so I quietly stood,

opened the balcony door, and stepped outside.

"Momma" I whispered to myself, "It's been so long since I even thought of my

mother." As I stood, enjoying the clear night air, my few memories of mother

came to me. The smell of perfume, a soft voice. But never a face…I could never

remember my mothers face, thanks to my father. Before I realized, I had tears

in my own eyes.

"_All those times that I cried, all is wasted, it's all inside. And I feel all _

_this pain, I stuffed it down, its back again."_

I walked back into the apartment, wiped the tears still flowing from

my eyes and layback in bed, away from her.

"_And I lay here in bed, all alone. I can't mend."_

I turned back to Asuka and gently wiped away her tears as well.

"_But I feel, tomorrow will be okay"_

"_But I know…_

_I'm on the outside, I'm looking in._

_I can see through you, see your true colors._

'_Cause inside you're ugly, you're ugly like me._

_I can see through you, see through the real you."_


End file.
